Letter of recommendation

So I asked the Andre House director, Father Bill, to write me a letter of recommendation for my second attempt at a congressional nomination. Here’s what he came to me with last night:

Dear Senator X,

Greetings. This will serve as a letter of recommendation for Gilbert Coyle for nomination to be re-admitted into the United States Military Academy for the fall of 2008.

I can’t believe that Gilbert asked me to write this, knowing how much I dislike him. He totally “chickened out” of school and went AWOL, then came crawling to us to see if we would take him. I thought he was applying for admission to our men’s house- such was his slovenly attire and composure. Out of pity and a love for our poor brothers and sisters, we took him in and offered him a position on our “staff” (he honestly thinks he is a member of our regular staff, but we tell him that so that he won’t go off on us (again)).

Gib spends a lot of time lounging around at home and watching “Scrubs” and “W.C. Fields,” instead of doing something more productive. True, he has done a lot of cleaning and extra work around our building and houses, but I think he does this out of fear more than anything else. I’m told that his cooking skills have improved, though I am too frightened to eat the food on Saturday nights.

A good quality of his? Well, he takes a lot of pictures. Then again, so does my old “friend” Andy, but he totally stabbed me in the back a few years ago so he’s not really a good guy after all. Why he is still angry with me for winning the student body president position I’ll never know. Anyway, Gib takes pictures. Very big deal.

There you have it Sen. If his isn’t the worst application you have on your desk this year, go ahead and nominate him. Let’s see if he sticks it out this time.

Peace,
Father Bill
Director

PS: Dude, I was behind you all the way for President in the 80’s. What happened?

Very funny, Father Bill. Now where's the real letter?