One last article

Here is the final article from the current newsletter, this time from Hoa (pronounced "wa"). I just realized how much she wrote.


The two phrases that I would use to describe working at Andre House last year would be “challenge” and “best experience”. When I came back from Rocky Point, Mexico, I had no idea if I could do the kind of work that involved many mentally ill people or people who take drugs as their escape. I had never worked with them before nor knew how to handle their problems. During the retreat, we learned that everyone must be able to say, “No,” to the guests when needed. I thought to myself, “Me? Say ‘no’ to them?” I cannot even say “no” to my best friend when she asks to borrow my favorite shirt…and I do not let anyone wear it but me!” All my
friends said to me before I came to Phoenix, “Hoa, how will you be able to work with people who have so many problems? You cannot even say “no” to your friends. You expect to say “no” to people you do not know and think they will accept that answer?” My friends were right. I cannot say “no”. All my life, I have had trouble saying “no” to many people because I cared about their feelings, and I did not want to hurt them. I tried to deal with some issues on my own and tried not to cause any more problems for people, simply because I could not tell them “no.”

I remember when I worked in the Clothes Closet for the first time after returning from Rocky Point; I had to say “no” to this woman who asked for a shirt and pair of jeans. She said that she lost all of her clothes and all she had was what she was wearing. In my heart, I really wanted to give her the items because she seemed like she really needed them. I wanted to help this woman out, but I had already handed out 30 numbers for that day. I told her that she had to come back on Monday at 10:00 am, the next time we did clothes, and she started to yell at me.
She said, “And you call yourself a good Christian?” and left. That was the most discouraging retort that I had ever received from anyone. How am I not a good Christian? I came to Andre
House and gave up two years of my life to help others. After college I could have gone out and found a good job and gotten a nice place to live with a nice car to drive, but God called me to do this work for Him…to help His people because they need my help. After that woman said that to me, I was sad about it and was no longer motivated to be at Andre House. I had thought that I was doing a good thing by volunteering part of my life to the work at Andre House.

Then throughout the months, I learned and understood why we say no here. It is not because
we are being mean to people or do not want to give them clothes or food, but because we want to be consistent with everyone who comes through the door. It is not fair to say “no” to one person and then let a few others come through the door for clothes, showers or even dinner. At first, I did not understand why we have to say “no” and have rules at Andre House. We have much food in the refrigerator and sometimes have many clothes in the basement that are not being used. Why are we not taking advantage all of these items and helping all the guests who are in need? But one day I understood why we have to be consistent in all of the services we offer at Andre House. There was a man who just been released from prison, and he had nothing
but a dirty T-shirt and pants. I told him he had to come back the next day since we already passed out 30 numbers to our guests for Clothes Closet that day. However, I felt that this man really needed our help. I thought I was doing a good thing, the right thing, by giving him brand new shirt and pants. He shook my hands and said, “Thank you so much. You just made my day, and you helped helped me so much today.” It felt good to know that I did something right and made a difference in someone’s life. But the next day, another man arrived who also was just released from prison and had nothing…like the man that came in the previous day. I told him, like I told the first man, that he would have to come back the next time we did Clothes Closet. He said the first man was his friend and had told him he could get clothes at Andre House. We would help anyone who needed our help. He started to yell at me and told me that I was being
unfair with him, not giving him clothes like I had given his friend. I told him “no” because we have to be consistent with everything we do with all of our services, and I want to be fair with everyone. But how can I be fair when I give clothes to one person and not to the next? At that moment, I really understood why we have to say “no.” Not because we love to or, because we can, but because we want to be fair to all of the guests who come through the door, to treat everyone equal. After that day, I never say “no” to the guests without listening to their reasons or stories. If I have to say “no,” I want to explain to them why I cannot give them whatever they are asking for, and, hopefully, they will understand and accept it. We have rules for a reason, and that is to make it fair for everyone.

Andre House not only gives me many challenges, but it is also a great and memorable experience working here. Everyday I enjoy waking up and wondering what is going happen at the Hospitality Center. Some days will be wonderful. Other days will be stressful, and I just want to go home. I always look forward coming to work and saying, “Hi,” with a smile to all the guests. I will get the same greeting back from them. I like chatting with the guests and listening to their lives’ stories or even their days’ stories. I mostly enjoy seeing the volunteers who come every week and talking to them. Basically, they are my family here. I just love coming to the Center and giving hugs to all of them and catching up with their lives. The volunteers who come here to the Hospitality Center give their time to God and to help His children. They give up their social lives to come to Andre House to help those who are struggling and trying to get back on their feet. I have seen so much over the past years while working at Andre House. I have seen many smiles on the faces of guests who appreciate what Andre House provides, and on other days, I have seen the anger, the frustration and the lack of appreciation on the faces of the guests when they do not get what they want. Sometimes it hurts me to see so many guests who are not appreciative of Andre House. They don’t know how much time and energy we (the staff and volunteers) put into helping them, but I know why I am here… it is not for the appreciation of our guests, but because God sent me here, and He has faith in me to help them. Thank you so much to all the volunteers who come here and help us. Andre House has been the “best experience.” Working at Andre House has taught me to have patience with our guests, to have confidence in myself and in my faith in God, to have courage and say “no” when necessary,
to be a good listener to all the guests’ problems and stories, and most importantly, to see Jesus inside all of us (guests, volunteers and staff, alike.)

Thank you, Andre House, for opening my eyes to God and His Faith.
- HN